This week I’ve been just reminiscing a lot about projects that I’ve created but haven’t released. I don’t say this to try and promote work or anything like that I just want to vent about fears really. Yes, fear it’s that weird feeling you get when you’re unsure of a certain outcome. But most times you never know what can come if you don’t try. Essentially the problems I have been facing.
I remember when I was a kid writing stories in the summertime as my grandmother would sit and watch Oprah. I would dream about creating a book that thousands of people would read all over the globe. Now I’m almost 21 looking at books that I have created and I’m having a genuine fear about putting out something that won’t be read. My younger self would kick my old you know what. Maybe I’m overthinking things. I know some artists got to feel that emptiness when they put out a project that not one person reads or even acknowledge.
Other than book fears I been thinking a lot about this surgery. As I always do but I have fears about going under and not coming out. I think that’s one that a lot of people face. But other than that I’m so ready to get this over with. Two years in the making and I’m so close to getting cut. But I still do think about is this really my path. This thing called life, you don’t really know his plans but you just try to do what’s best for you.
I wonder what will happen when I stop letting the fears dictate my life. Will, I finally start living my dreams or will the vision continue to play through my head? The question that continues to roam through my mind. Maybe one day I’ll finally find out what’s on the other side of fear.