Weekly Thought’s #38: I Finished
I have been really depressed this week. It’s weird cause I just did a post called Do’s and Don’ts when depressed. Like I need to take my own advice. I don’t know why I really am depressed? Part of me thinks PTSD. But I don’t think my experience was that traumatic but I keep thinking about the bad memories and then getting sad all over again. I always think about a poem I wrote when I get like this. The opening lines is “How come the bad always outweighs the good? I can’t even look at the people in front of me telling me I could. I only remember the times when they told me I couldn’t.” In other terms, it’s hard to look at people in a good light when they already showed you their bad side. It hurts, even more, when it’s your own family. You know your family is supposed to be your comfort but sometimes I think the pain they caused will cause my demise.
Then my weight hasn’t been going up but I just feel like it is. I’m starting to get back addicted to food. I’m so afraid of falling back into that habit. It’s hard being 400 plus pounds and trying to lose the weight but it’s scary knowing if you slip back into your old habits that you will be right back where you started.
The only up I believe I seen was finishing my story. The story I have written was great. I wrote the outline Thursday night. I started from the beginning. I was so confused about where I was going with the story. Sometimes its good to start over and really figure things out thoroughly. So I plotted the story out thoroughly. From character names to where I wanted them to go or what they say. When I awakened Friday. I spent 11 hours writing a 20-page story. I felt like I can go longer but I just like the story form for this plot.
Speaking of stories. Make sure you check out my story available on Amazon for only $2.99. It’s a Mystery story that you’ll enjoy. Be sure to check it out now. The Story Of Charles Levi
In conclusion, it was quite an up and down week. Every day is another mystery for my feelings. I’m the happiest when I’m writing. I think the first time I smiled all week was when I finished writing the story. Yeah, that was my only highlight for real. I hope next week has my spirits higher. Tell me about your week in the comments below.