Dealing with Depression

Weekly Thoughts #86: Dealing with Depression.

Inauguration went on without a hitch. Great. Love to see it. Now on to my week of Dealing With Depression.

Trying to figure out what’s the next project is becoming a real headache. I want to aim for a spoken word project, but my files containing my plans are all over the place. Some poems I no longer want to do as a spoken word. Some I just want to post on the blog. Some I want to keep personal. Just all over the place.

It’s been 6 years of trying to make something of myself without the work force. Maybe it’s time to hang it up. Creating is the only time I feel genuinely happy. Can I really walk away from that satisfying feeling? I haven’t written a spoken word in maybe a month. Answering writing prompts every week is becoming a hassle because I can’t think of a thing. My writer’s block only last a week or 2 usually, but now I’m just stuck. Mind is empty. I can write blog posts, but that’s it. Am I done with spoken word? 

I seem to think like this when I look at my life. I’m grateful for my gift or what’s left of it. But my gift hasn’t made a profit. Successful people always say don’t chase the money while they sit in a comfortable position. While I battle depression and hating ass support system just waiting for my big break. So I can escape. But my pockets don’t match my work ethic.

Maybe I’m just a little too depressed right now. The month is ending and I should be happy right. I’m getting closer to my goals and I should be happy. But I can’t seem to find my happiness. I was going to save this post for this week, but I needed to vent. Clear my mind as I try to finish this month. See you all on Sunday. Not too happy this time around because I’m just Dealing with Depression.

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