Crowded Thoughts

Crowded Thoughts

Still trying to find my way

Everyone gives me advice on what my hustle should be

But I can barely tell my future anymore 

I’m not sure what I want to do

Not one clue

I love writing, but that doesn’t generate a profit just by doing it

Love poetry, but I’m thinking I’m not good at it

Well, at least performing it

What should I do?

What can I do?

I keep thinking about escaping 

But it’s not like I got shackles on my feet

Cuffs on my wrist

And a sentence with no period

I’m a free man

Just not on my feet enough to budge

Things just got tough at home

A lot of voices being embedded into my dome

To the point I feel alone

So many ganging up on me makes me feel like a cone

Meaning I’m just in everyone's way

They often say just do it for them

But when do I get to do something for myself?

Crowded Thoughts cause unwanted talks

Don’t want to speak any more 

Feel like I’m being judged for how I react to disrespect

Year after year, I’m just supposed to ignore 

What happens when I can’t take any more?

What happens when the disrespect gets to be too much?

Then I’m given the shove

Shove to the side like some old clothes

Told to just let go

Living in a black family where they don’t believe in mental health blames my antics on horoscopes

Like I could help when I broke out the belly

Like over the years, situations didn’t take a toll on me

It’s just me being a crazy old scorpio

Brain so cluttered with crowded thoughts

Use my pen to just let go 

Until I’m able to let go of my blood

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