Story Time: Cougar

This is a Story Time about the time an old lady started flirting with me. So this took place maybe early last year. Around this time last year, I had the flu. I went to the doctor’s office and they had to do a throat culture. It was taking very long to do so. Call it being a baby. A sucker whatever floats your boat. Because I was struggling. I don’t like things been stuck down my throat. I don’t like I eye drops nor nose drops. Sorry, it’s just how I am.

Anyways in the midst of the struggle and waiting in there until the doctors figured something out. There was this older woman walking towards me. I’m usually shy and don’t talk much. But today I decided to say hello. Big mistake.

She came and sat directly next to me. She just kept flirting with me. Asking me about my life and stuff. Touching my leg and rubbing. I was annoyed to the fullest. She did all of this while her husband was sitting right there. She said he was senile or something. That’s even more messed up.

The worst part was her telling me about how her husband fell outside and she scooped him up with one arm. Then she flexed her arm talking about you see that muscle, Kenneth.

“Touch it, Touch it.”

I feel weird to say I touched it. After an hour of her talking to me, I finally let the doctors just jammed the thing in my throat. I felt like a thot the way it hit the back of my throat. Turns out I had the flu I was sick. I wasn’t even surprised I was just ready to go. I got my medicine and left.

Of course, my friends were on some scamming stuff when I told them. A whole lot of you suppose to get with her to get the check. No that’s disgusting. I was 20 and she was like 70 years old. That’s disgusting and weird. If you like senior citizens then that’s on you. But that wraps it up for this Story Time. If you want to see more by me then follow this blog. Follow me on all social media platforms. Also, Happy Valentines Day!

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Story Time: First Time At The Bar

 My first time at the bar was about 2 weeks ago. If you follow me on Instagram you would have seen my drunk stories. I went one day with my pops. It was a night to remember. I have been drinking alcohol legally for a couple of months, but haven’t sat at a bar yet.
 I believe I started off with a Top Shelf Long Island Ice tea. Does not taste like tea by the way. It had an okay taste. Most alcohol tastes nasty. Unless you drink a margarita which barely has liquor in it. Anyways it was a cool day, not too many people in the restaurant we were at.
 My pops, of course, made a friend and started talking the whole time. While I was bored I drunk the tea down like it was a McDonald’s tea. Then I started joking about how it was nothing and how I was the man. Bad idea.
 So my pops took it upon himself to buy me a drink called Darth Vader. It had Vodka, Rum, Gin, Triple Sec, Tequila, and sweet sour mix. Now as a rookie I don’t know what half of those are. If I had to describe the flavor it was very sweet. It tasted like grape soda.
 So while I was still feeling cocky I drunk that drink down like it was soda. I drunk it down and kept talking trash like it was a contest for who can drink the fastest. So at some point, I had to use the restroom and it wasn’t till then that I knew I was drunk.
 When I got up it felt like the ground was moving. I was stumbling all over the place and to the people at the bar it was pure comedy. I remember coaching myself to the bathroom like “it’s all in your head K, you got this just walk normally”. I tried my best but I was still staggered.
 Upon my return someone at the bar said I’ll get you two another drink. I should have ordered a soda. I decided to order another Darth Vader. I honestly deserved what came next. I was drunk around my momma. I kept giving people handshakes. I was just stumbling and walking funny around the house. Just not being normal. I was acting very goofy.
 At some point in time, I passed out in my room on the bed. When I woke up I was laying in the opposite direction of how I usually sleep. My pants were still around my ankles and my feet were on the nightstand. After that, I spent an hour looking for my wallet which was in the kitchen for some odd reason.
 The downside to this day was I threw up 3 times that night. I was praying to the toilet that it would stop. I learned a couple of things. Don’t mix your drinks. Don’t drink 3 drinks without eating. Stop talking trash while drinking, it’s not a contest. Other than that it was cool. Drinking at a bar is best for people who are social butterflies. Me not so much. As you see I just kept drinking for fun to past the time. But if you enjoyed that, like, comment and share. Follow this blog from yours truly. Follow me on all social media platforms.

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Keto Diet

This ought to be short just like my time on this diet. I believe I started the diet on a Tuesday and stopped on Friday. My initial goal was to last the entire month but it didn’t work out. I gave in to the temptation of good starchy food.

If I can offer one tip it would be don’t try it. But really it’s about being consistent. For me I love starch. Eating meat and vegetables is hard. It’s a lot of things that you would eat regularly that you can’t eat.

Like oatmeal, cereal, fruit, and milk. But you can eat all the meat you want. So weird.

That’s one diet that I wouldn’t try again. I got good results but I still feel like I was starving. Snacking was a major factor. Peanuts became my best friend. Eating meat with cheese turned out to be disgusting without the bread. I may try another diet but as of now, the Keto Diet is not it. I’ll leave a picture I found helpful while on the diet below.

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Story Time: My First Story

Patrica’s World:

Once there was a girl name Patricia Jones. Her friend’s call her Pat. Pat loves playing soccer, she always wins her games. She has a friend named Janaye. Pat has a crush on a boy named Alvin. Alvin played for the Redskins. One day at school Alvin ask Pat out Pat said yes. They went to the movie Pat got her first kiss. The next day Alvin got hurt in football against the Dallas Cowboys. He broke his leg. 2 Months later Pat was in her final game of soccer, she won. Alvin was healed. But Pat found out Alvin was kissing other girls. So she went up to him and asked why. Then he pushed her, then the next day Pat went up to Alvin and hit him so hard he fell out the wheelchair.

Chapter 2:

One day Pat mother Denise said that she was having a baby. Pat ran like a cheetah to Janaye house to tell her the big news. Then Janaye said the baby was going to steal your spotlight. The baby came they named her Marry. Denise and Kevin said she was cute. But Pat said she was ugly. Then she starts crying. So her dad talks to her.

Chapter 3:

10 years later Marry, Patricia and Janaye were all out shopping. They saw Alvin kissing again. One day Alvin went out with Marry. Pat saw Alvin ask Marry do you want some drugs. She said no. Pat hit him.

Marry grew up an became a doctor. Patrica became a soccer player. Janaye became a professional wrestler. She was the world heavyweight champion.

Summary:

I have so many questions. For one why was I thinking about all this at the age of 8? Why’re the chapters so small? I confused myself typing this again. That was my first ever story I wrote when I was 8 years old in the house with my grandma on a rainy summer day. I used her first name as the main character in the story. I believe this was the first time I just felt like I should write a story and the rest has been history. Story after another. Followed by speeches and poems now. Well, that’s it for this Storytime. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s blog. But for now, check out some of my other blogs. Like, Comment and Share this blog. Follow for more content by yours truly.

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Story Time: Best Christmas Moments

In the Christmas spirit as always. My favorite holiday of the year. But I’ll have to share my favorite Christmas moments of all time. One of my favorite Christmas moments was when I was younger and I wanted this electric scooter so bad.

 I remember riding one for the first time at a cousins house and being in love with it. I wanted it so bad but I didn’t think I would ever get it. Until that current years Christmas morning when I saw it in my living room. If I remember correctly it snowed that morning which was rare in Maryland on Christmas. I had the biggest smile as I went outside in pajamas and rode it up and down the block.

My second best moment was about 2 or 3 years ago. My older sister had been dying for a pair of Jordan’s. And I had been dying to buy her a big gift. Since she’s always buying me stuff all the time. You know that’s how I have always been just wanting to repay the favor to my loved ones.

 So, a couple weeks before Christmas the Space Jam Jordan Retro 11s released. They were one of those shoes in my area that you would have to stand in a long line to get. You would even have to buy a ticket just to be able to get in line. Crazy right. So I did all that and ended up purchasing the shoes. 

 When Christmas arrived I was so excited. She sleeps so long on Christmas mornings so I was a little impatient. I’m to this day up at like 7 on Christmas morning. It’s the little kid in me ready to burst out on the scenes. So when sleeping beauty finally came alive I was so excited. She ripped open the gift wrap and seen the Jordan label and size and said: “No this guy didn’t.” It was the first time I have seen her smile from a gift I gave her in a while. So that just made my Christmas even more special.

 Last but not least my best moment was about 4 years ago, so not that long ago. I brought my mom these ugg boots she had been wanting. It was exciting for me because it was the first pair of shoes I brought that was over 200$ and they weren’t for me. Especially buying it for moms was just simply the best feeling in the world. Well, that’s it for this storytime. I hope I get many more chances to make others feel special. I love to give more than to receive. That’s just who I am. So maybe one day I’ll get the chance to give gifts on more days than just one.

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