Weekly Thoughts #28

I did it. I finally had my surgery. If you been reading and following then you’ll would know that this has been in the works for a couple of years. I went in for surgery on Wednesday. The surgery lasted 4 hours but for me it felt like I blinked and it was over.

The anesthesiologists put a masked on me and told me to breathe in and out. After 3 breaths he said he was going to put medicine in it. That was the last thing I remember before I was out. I woke up in recovery confused. I knew it was done because of how sore I was.

Now it has been 2 days since and it doesn’t seem real that I finally got it done. I can admit that my stomach is so sore physically. I can do limited moves around the house but working out is out the picture for awhile. Of course my liquid diet stays on for another couple of weeks.

Other than that I have been really happy lately. I haven’t felt depressed all month. Maybe this operation cured something already. But that’s it for this Weekly Thoughts. See you next week with another post like this. For now view my previous posts until tomorrow. Like, comment and subscribe to my mailing list.

Weekly Thoughts #27

This week wasn’t so rough. I think I was so cranky because I was hungry. Now not so much. I came close last week to cheating but I couldn’t bring myself to do that to myself. Without working out I have lost quite a bit of weight.

I lost 3 pounds this week. 13 altogether since starting the liquid diet. I think once my body got used to drinking instead of eating. It got easier. I’m literally 3 days away from my operation and it’s crazy.

The nerves are there but not really. I’m not scared of the operation. I’m scared of something going wrong doing the healing. There are side effects. Like I can cause some type of leak that can kill me. I got 3 more weeks of liquid and healing after it. So I’m a little scared for that.

I know I been talking about this a lot but it’s the only thing on my mind. For now, view my other posts on different subjects if you’re not into this. Subscribe to my mailing list and follow my blog Instagram for updates. @piecesofkblog

Weekly Thoughts #26

This week has been rough. I had to start my liquid diet on Wednesday. In my head, I wanted to have a last meal on the 30th but I couldn’t because I had an appointment on the 1st. So I played it safe. This liquid diet makes me want to quit altogether.

It’s so unrealistic. I have to go from eating 3 meals a day to not eating any food at all. I can only drink water and protein shakes. All though you can drink as many proteins shake you want it still doesn’t feel the same. Trust me I been inhaling them shakes and I still feel hungry. You can eat sugar-free jello and pop sickles. But they still don’t make you feel full.

For the last couple of days, I have been going to sleep hungry. Waking up hungry. For me, the shake only fills me for 2 hours top. You have to do this for 2 full weeks. I don’t know if I’m going to make it through. I honestly feel light headed. I can’t work out how I usually do because I have no energy to do so. If I could quit, I would.

On the upside, I lost another 10 pounds. So I’m currently at 405 pounds which is my new lowest weight. I have been doing this process for so long that I was obsessed over being at this point. Now I’m starting to doubt it. It’s not the liquid diet that’s changing my choice. It’s the fact that I can lose weight on my own. But I know I can relapse at any moment so that makes me want to stay.

This week has been okay. Usually, I’ll be happy about the 10 pounds but I’m kinda not feeling this surgery. The more I read on it and really think about it, makes me want to pull out. But who knows. That’s it for this post. Like, comment and subscribe to my mailing list to stay up to date on my latest blog posts. View my previous posts until tomorrow.

Weekly Thoughts #25

Weekly Thoughts 25:

This week was amazing. Simply amazing. Just to touch base on last week where I had passed the sleep apnea test. The test that was holding me back from my surgery. I didn’t think anything will get better after that. I know keeping faith is key but me and hope been split up.

So on to this week. I lost 15 pounds in 4 days. I still can’t believe I did that. I really just went back to my old gym routine and just pushed myself a little harder. I tracked my intake and made sure I didn’t eat when I wasn’t hungry. When Friday came I was back down to 416. The weight I had before I relapsed and went back to my old ways.

That’s not even the best part of this week. Today, I received the call. After 2 years I thought this day would never come. I am now locked in for surgery in a couple of weeks. I’m tearing up just writing this. For the first time in my life, I cried tears of joy.

I’m not going to make this emotional or nothing. I’m just going to end off this post with this, if you want something bad enough then you will sacrifice every being in your soul to make it happen.

Weekly Thoughts #24

Just the other day I was thinking about making this blog and writing about how I was waiting for my results for the sleep apnea test. The test that I had been waiting for a month for the results. It’s the only thing, for now, that was holding me back. Well, April 19th I got the results which stated that I had no evidence of sleep apnea like I had been thinking since they diagnosed me with it in October.

It feels like a burden has been lifted off my shoulder. I’m so close to being submitted to the committee. During the bariatric surgery process, you have to be submitted to a committee that decides when you can have the surgery and I’m just a few steps away from there.

It feels like I just released Poetic Gift and I’m already closing the door on another project. 20 tracks in but I don’t feel like it’s complete yet. After these last 2 then I’ll start chopping it down to a good 12 songs for this project.

As far as performing. I’m slowly making my way there. Going to busboys and poets and being in the atmosphere makes me want to get up there. But I’m still held back by the fear. I’m encouraged a lot about it but I’ll just go when I’m ready. I don’t want to rush and mess up.

I just wanted to vent for a second. So I thought I’ll bring this back. Sometimes it’s good to vent out loud and clear your mind and get a good assessment of what’s going on. Like always like, comment and subscribe to my mailing list to stay updated on my blog posts. Follow me on all social media platforms.