Weekly Thoughts #25

Weekly Thoughts 25:

This week was amazing. Simply amazing. Just to touch base on last week where I had passed the sleep apnea test. The test that was holding me back from my surgery. I didn’t think anything will get better after that. I know keeping faith is key but me and hope been split up.

So on to this week. I lost 15 pounds in 4 days. I still can’t believe I did that. I really just went back to my old gym routine and just pushed myself a little harder. I tracked my intake and made sure I didn’t eat when I wasn’t hungry. When Friday came I was back down to 416. The weight I had before I relapsed and went back to my old ways.

That’s not even the best part of this week. Today, I received the call. After 2 years I thought this day would never come. I am now locked in for surgery in a couple of weeks. I’m tearing up just writing this. For the first time in my life, I cried tears of joy.

I’m not going to make this emotional or nothing. I’m just going to end off this post with this, if you want something bad enough then you will sacrifice every being in your soul to make it happen.

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Behind The Scenes: 400+ Part 2

This weight has been a thorn in my side for so long. It’s getting annoying to even talk about it. But here goes nothing. 3 years of me working out and losing weight then gaining it back. Led me to finally drop the weight needed to meet the surgeon.

The surgeon talked about the side effects and what could happen and I didn’t feel right. You know? I love the idea of dropping weight faster than usual but something just didn’t feel right. After the meeting, I still had to deal with another doctor before I can reach the surgeon again.

That brings me to my current situation. Where I’m lost trying to get passed this never-ending task. You would think just going to sleep with a mask on would be easy. But for me, it’s the hardest thing I have faced.

I struggle with it almost every night. It’s like an air conditioner just blowing into my nose and mouth while I try to sleep. I only have to do it for a month and I can’t get through one night. The doctors act like I’m speaking a foreign language when I tell them I can’t sleep with it. Peers do the same thing.

I ask God for a sign all the time for if I should pull out or not. Maybe this is the sign or maybe it’s just another never-ending challenge. I still workout and try to eat right and lose some weight. But it’s nothing like if I went under already. That’s it for this post. Like, comment and share for more post like this. Enjoy some of my previous post below. See you tomorrow.

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Life Update: Surgery

When it comes to the surgery it feels nonexistent at this point. I have something that I have to do in order to get it. What sounds like the easiest thing to do feels like the hardest thing. Of course, there are people around just saying do it like I’m not trying or something. I have been in this process for almost 3 years. Do you really think I’m not trying my best?

Other than that I have just been working out and trying to eat right. The holidays really messed me up. I was looking at almost being out the 4s before my birthday came and then a week later it was Thanksgiving. So it’s going to be a struggle getting back to that position.

Sometimes it feels like I’ll lose the weight that I want to lose before it’ll even come. Maybe it’s for the better. I asked God for a sign when I first started, maybe this is it. I have come this far. From 480 to 420. I know I’m doing something right when my mind is really focused on not eating bad meals. Working out is really easy for me. I just put my music on and go at it. Maybe I don’t need it.

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Weekly Thoughts #12

I finally got the call and is scheduled to meet the surgeon. That sounds crazy just thinking I’m days away from a dream I thought would never come true. So many call this route a shortcut but when you are on this journey you’ll realize it’s not. All the appointments are one thing but the working to cut out almost everything to just have it, is another thing. Also the fact that this is my second time doing every appointment over because of my old appointments expired. Yes, expired. They do expire after you take too long to lose the weight given to you. But anyway I’m days away from my appointment and I can’t wait.

In other news, I created a dope Spoken Word the other day. Messing around with Logic Pro x made me create the exact sound I had for this particular piece. It came out so good but I think I’m going to put it on my full project. That probably won’t come for a couple of months. Just my strategic ways.

Is it bad that I keep creating these random post like top 5 just to past the times? It’s like I want to create more post like behind the scenes and more poems but I be at a dry spell sometimes. I’m not doubting the blogging thing but how do they keep it going? They as in other bloggers.

Also, I lost another 5 pounds. The weight goal for this month I believe I said 415. So in glad to say I’m one pound away from achieving that goal. Many long hours in the gym has been my best friend for losing weight so eventually, I’ll have that goal taken care of.

This week was good except for one specific upset yesterday. When I missed my appointment for some miscommunication. But luckily I got a chance to reschedule for next week. So I’m good cause it could be worse. I have missed appointments and have been scheduled for a date 2 months later so I can’t really complain. This week was a solid 9 out of 10.

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