Behind The Scenes: 400+ Part 2
This weight has been a thorn in my side for so long. It’s getting annoying to even talk about it. But here goes nothing. 3 years of me working out and losing weight then gaining it back. Led me to finally drop the weight needed to meet the surgeon.
The surgeon talked about the side effects and what could happen and I didn’t feel right. You know? I love the idea of dropping weight faster than usual but something just didn’t feel right. After the meeting, I still had to deal with another doctor before I can reach the surgeon again.
That brings me to my current situation. Where I’m lost trying to get passed this never-ending task. You would think just going to sleep with a mask on would be easy. But for me, it’s the hardest thing I have faced.
I struggle with it almost every night. It’s like an air conditioner just blowing into my nose and mouth while I try to sleep. I only have to do it for a month and I can’t get through one night. The doctors act like I’m speaking a foreign language when I tell them I can’t sleep with it. Peers do the same thing.
I ask God for a sign all the time for if I should pull out or not. Maybe this is the sign or maybe it’s just another never-ending challenge. I still workout and try to eat right and lose some weight. But it’s nothing like if I went under already. That’s it for this post. Like, comment and share for more post like this. Enjoy some of my previous post below. See you tomorrow.
Help (Poem)
I’m surrounded by plastic
They stick around like they elastic
But not here when it get drastic
That’s classic
I hate people that’s not long lasting
This life is fast you got to keep up
I been trying to make a come up
But you left me all alone
I got a lot roaming through my dome
I was never in the streets like a cone
But it feel like it
It’s like I had many around me
They tried to change me
Then they left me
It’s crazy how your around snakes all your life
This don’t feel right
Pops want to help me out
How do I talk to the one who put me in it
My feelings is tinted
Meaning they Dark
You turned your back and it hurt my heart
You left your mark
Now leave
Just let me be
Cause me and you can’t see eye to eye
Got me dying on the inside
And lighting a fire on the outside
I was thrown out in the water and I ain’t no Michael phelps
I didn’t have no help
I got to do it myself
Help is the last thing I need from a enemy
Cause family is overrated
And I hate it
It’s all about K. Exum
Let’s Talk About It: Suicide
Suicide is a tough subject. I too get depressed and think about this but it has never gone as far as a hospital bed. Just a weapon in my hand here and there but not to a point where I’m bleeding out. Yeah, you may already know through my poems. But anyway, suicide is tough to deal with. But sometimes people don’t get that. You’ll never know what someones feeling until your in their position.
I do think the best way to deal with depression and anxiety is to let out how your feeling to someone that will understand and offer some advice. Sometimes having another set of ears can help you. Other than that I think what helps is finding yourself an outlet.
For me it’s poetry. Venting through poetry makes me feel better when I’m down in the dumps. For some just writing it out on paper in paragraphs may help. Or sharing online can help. It brings people around that you never met before but is or has been in your predicament.
Suicide is the biggest murder in this nation. It’s something that may be controlled if your willing to put in the effort to control it early on. Letting the hate or sadness sit inside that red thing in your chest will just make you feel worse. As far as bullies go don’t let them win. In most cases their going through the same thing but try to mask it by taking it out on you. If anyone out there is in pain or down or just feel alone. Remember your not alone. Your not the only one and you can overcome this. But it all starts with you.
I hope this helps. I don’t mean to offend anyone I’m just letting out my thoughts on the topic. This is it for this blog post. I’ll be back tomorrow with another post. Make sure to like and follow this blog for more updates. Follow me on all social media platforms. Check out some of my previous blogs, until tomorrow.
Random Thoughts: Family Diss
Family: Why do you always mention your family in your Spoken Word tracks?
This is something I been wanting to address. I guess it’s because I never really feel supported in this line of work. I get bashed for putting out music or writing from my own family. I’m not slim shady with my disses. I would never go that far but I do mention it because I wanted it to change.
I say wanted because it has changed but it still doesn’t feel real. It took a fake email from a record label and a couple outsiders to really start seeing support around me. I appreciate the comments on IG and here about my art because it really means a lot even if I don’t show it.
I published my first speech and story when I was 16. It was a long term dream I had for 8 years. When I figured out how to do it, my way. I used lulu.com and I published just to hear my family argue about me publishing. I even had them curse me out for chasing my dreams. It’s always you need college to do so. But I can name a 100 Arthur’s who made it without a degree. Also, I don’t like school. Never have, never will. I doubt I could have lasted another 4 years for a degree I don’t want or feel like I need.
So the disses as of now I want to stop but its hard not to express my true emotions for the people around me on a beat. I said it before this poetry is my outlet. I let out my deepest darkest emotions on these pages. So I can feel some type of relief. This was somewhat emotional but I just wanted to vent. Follow my blog for more content by yours truly. Follow my Instagram and my blog Instagram @piecesofkblog