Venting (Poem)

I’m stuck in my mind cause I seen a situation like this

So I kinda already know

Should I just drop the book and see how things go

Or hold it and see my dreams fold

 

This world is so cold

And I’m just trying to let you know

That your blood could be the coldest people you’ll ever know

Had to learn the hard way

 

I put my passion into it and watched it get shot down

I heard life come full circle, so I’m just waiting for my time to come back around

They say don’t trust friends and just let your blood surround

I’m feeling like a orphan because my friends seems like the only ones that’s down

 

Sometimes I wonder why I even speak

All they seem to hear is the depression

Don’t even notice I’m giving the guidelines to applying the pressure

Maybe I’m just the only one who gets the gesture

Never mind I can’t really worry about the backlash I’m just improving the texture

 

I’m just so mixed up in this mixture

Just worried about who down for the adventure

When I need to just go on the adventure

 

They will follow soon as the bills start falling

And the girls start drooling

I’m just flowing so my mind starts fooling

 

I’m just venting about a book that probably won’t see the light of day

Because I worry too much about who got faith in me

I just want people to learn from my mistakes

 

Never depend on others

Just work till the day you get discovered

If only I can get that through my thick skull

If only I knew my worth

 

I would have never been on that turf

I would have been right here getting everything I deserve

My own momma and poppa broke me down to my knees

I wish I didn’t take that plea

 

I wish I knew who I can be

I wish they knew who I can be

And that’s me

I should have fought to be me

 

I’m just venting about some days I’ll probably never see again

Times change

People change

Don’t be chained

To your past

I’m just venting about my past

 

Disclaimer: This was also featured on “Poetic Gift”. Available for download on all digital platforms. You can also hear this under the shop icon. Hope you enjoyed today’s blog. More to come tomorrow.

Abused (Spoken Word)

Some people are physically abused

See that’s the difference between me and you

I was mentally abused

And I don’t know what to do

I just want to be through

Then I look to god like when will I be through

I never get an answer that’s when the suicidal thoughts start to play through my mind

I often dream about making it to the grand stage so I can shine

But I can barely escape my mind

So how will I ever let it all go and really grind

They say wait for your time

But time is the only thing I’m scared won’t last

I’m held back by the past

And I just wish I can finally let go

So much shit that I regret

So much I wish I could take back

I wish I was man enough to stand up for myself

But I wasn’t and I looked for everyone to give me help

And no one reached out now I just blame myself

I’m just so trapped in my own mind

Don’t Ask Me That Sh*t (Spoken Word)

6’2, 430 pounds, wearing a size 15

I been like this since I was a teen

After this poem, I’m going to have my message ringing in your head like a ringtone

Let me change my tone for a sec

I just got something I really want to get off my chest

Have you ever felt like you weren’t at your best

Because too many people give you stress

All my life too many people been sucking on me like a baby sucking on a breast

I can never get any rest

It don’t matter where I go north, south, east or west

I still get stressed

Have you ever walked around in public and people ask you do you play football

I say no

Then they ask me again and again everywhere I go

They like tics they go everywhere I go

Some just don’t understand my struggle

I was born tall

That don’t mean I have to ball

I hate when people talk to me about football

I really want to hit them with a ball

I’m big and tall just respect it

Just because I don’t ball don’t mean I’m infected

I already got neglected

Everyday people think I’m ungrateful

Boy if I was your age and size 

Boy if you don’t get the fuck up out of here

I just hate when people in my ear

People talk down on me thinking I’m going to shed a tear

I have no fear

People really think I care

They keep banging on me like a fucking snare

How do I really bare

They want me to ball to become a millionaire

News flash I have my own dream

And in my dream, I am the captain

I’m tired of acting

They keep asking me why did I quit

I’ll tell you why

Because I’m tired of the shit

I can admit

My football experience wasn’t shit

But It was enough

Enough to tell me K. this isn’t you

Your big and tall but you don’t want to ball

The only reason you out here is to show your family that you can do it all

Have you ever seen your mother look down on you

The one person that you want to make proud

Look down like you weren’t even hers

That type of thing made me want to ride away in a hearse

But quitting my dreams made me feel worst

But first 

I got to say I hate when people tell me to wait

These tracks is my practice and I’m lifting them like weights

You know what’s funny 

The same people that tell me to wait

Is the same people that told me to go to practice each day

The same ones that took me to my games

The same people that told me to go pro

The same ones that told me the way to get there is to go

But for me to be a writer I have to wait

 So each poem I bring the hate

I’m going to be great

No debate

And I aint told nobody this

I got a letter in 12 talking about going to train for a football team

That was never my dream

I had to come out that deep water like a marine

I lit that paper on fire when I was seventeen

All my peoples want is the green

They always thought about the green

That’s why I was forced so I had to make it unseen

I blew it to smithereens

Receive a phone call the next week

They wanted me to ball for their team

Nothing was about to come in between

Between me and my dream

Not again got away clean

This is my notice

Don’t ask me that shit

It’s K. Exum the author and poet

If don’t like it, die slow