Behind The Scenes: 400+ Part 2

This weight has been a thorn in my side for so long. It’s getting annoying to even talk about it. But here goes nothing. 3 years of me working out and losing weight then gaining it back. Led me to finally drop the weight needed to meet the surgeon.

The surgeon talked about the side effects and what could happen and I didn’t feel right. You know? I love the idea of dropping weight faster than usual but something just didn’t feel right. After the meeting, I still had to deal with another doctor before I can reach the surgeon again.

That brings me to my current situation. Where I’m lost trying to get passed this never-ending task. You would think just going to sleep with a mask on would be easy. But for me, it’s the hardest thing I have faced.

I struggle with it almost every night. It’s like an air conditioner just blowing into my nose and mouth while I try to sleep. I only have to do it for a month and I can’t get through one night. The doctors act like I’m speaking a foreign language when I tell them I can’t sleep with it. Peers do the same thing.

I ask God for a sign all the time for if I should pull out or not. Maybe this is the sign or maybe it’s just another never-ending challenge. I still workout and try to eat right and lose some weight. But it’s nothing like if I went under already. That’s it for this post. Like, comment and share for more post like this. Enjoy some of my previous post below. See you tomorrow.

Keto Diet

This ought to be short just like my time on this diet. I believe I started the diet on a Tuesday and stopped on Friday. My initial goal was to last the entire month but it didn’t work out. I gave in to the temptation of good starchy food.

If I can offer one tip it would be don’t try it. But really it’s about being consistent. For me I love starch. Eating meat and vegetables is hard. It’s a lot of things that you would eat regularly that you can’t eat.

Like oatmeal, cereal, fruit, and milk. But you can eat all the meat you want. So weird.

That’s one diet that I wouldn’t try again. I got good results but I still feel like I was starving. Snacking was a major factor. Peanuts became my best friend. Eating meat with cheese turned out to be disgusting without the bread. I may try another diet but as of now, the Keto Diet is not it. I’ll leave a picture I found helpful while on the diet below.

Life Update: Surgery

When it comes to the surgery it feels nonexistent at this point. I have something that I have to do in order to get it. What sounds like the easiest thing to do feels like the hardest thing. Of course, there are people around just saying do it like I’m not trying or something. I have been in this process for almost 3 years. Do you really think I’m not trying my best?

Other than that I have just been working out and trying to eat right. The holidays really messed me up. I was looking at almost being out the 4s before my birthday came and then a week later it was Thanksgiving. So it’s going to be a struggle getting back to that position.

Sometimes it feels like I’ll lose the weight that I want to lose before it’ll even come. Maybe it’s for the better. I asked God for a sign when I first started, maybe this is it. I have come this far. From 480 to 420. I know I’m doing something right when my mind is really focused on not eating bad meals. Working out is really easy for me. I just put my music on and go at it. Maybe I don’t need it.

Weight (Poem)

As I look at these weights

I think, will this really be the year I get rid of the weight?

I hate to even doubt my faith

But I been here before

Broken promises after another

Will this really be the year I get tired of being tired?

Or will I be making another piece about being tired

I lost 50 in 2018

It could have been more

If I wasn’t putting the food back in my system

After getting it out my system

This not a diet it’s a life change

I got to work on my aim

If I could just stay in this lane

Then this weight wouldn’t be anything to complain about