Behind The Scenes: 400+ Part 2

This weight has been a thorn in my side for so long. It’s getting annoying to even talk about it. But here goes nothing. 3 years of me working out and losing weight then gaining it back. Led me to finally drop the weight needed to meet the surgeon.

The surgeon talked about the side effects and what could happen and I didn’t feel right. You know? I love the idea of dropping weight faster than usual but something just didn’t feel right. After the meeting, I still had to deal with another doctor before I can reach the surgeon again.

That brings me to my current situation. Where I’m lost trying to get passed this never-ending task. You would think just going to sleep with a mask on would be easy. But for me, it’s the hardest thing I have faced.

I struggle with it almost every night. It’s like an air conditioner just blowing into my nose and mouth while I try to sleep. I only have to do it for a month and I can’t get through one night. The doctors act like I’m speaking a foreign language when I tell them I can’t sleep with it. Peers do the same thing.

I ask God for a sign all the time for if I should pull out or not. Maybe this is the sign or maybe it’s just another never-ending challenge. I still workout and try to eat right and lose some weight. But it’s nothing like if I went under already. That’s it for this post. Like, comment and share for more post like this. Enjoy some of my previous post below. See you tomorrow.

Life Update: Surgery

When it comes to the surgery it feels nonexistent at this point. I have something that I have to do in order to get it. What sounds like the easiest thing to do feels like the hardest thing. Of course, there are people around just saying do it like I’m not trying or something. I have been in this process for almost 3 years. Do you really think I’m not trying my best?

Other than that I have just been working out and trying to eat right. The holidays really messed me up. I was looking at almost being out the 4s before my birthday came and then a week later it was Thanksgiving. So it’s going to be a struggle getting back to that position.

Sometimes it feels like I’ll lose the weight that I want to lose before it’ll even come. Maybe it’s for the better. I asked God for a sign when I first started, maybe this is it. I have come this far. From 480 to 420. I know I’m doing something right when my mind is really focused on not eating bad meals. Working out is really easy for me. I just put my music on and go at it. Maybe I don’t need it.

Weekly Thoughts #19

I’m kind of falling out of love with this series of blogs. It’s just trying to figure out what to say after 7 days. Blogging has been good. Trying to maintain blogging every day as well as adding another blog for the day. Right now I think I really like making blogs about modern day news. Those are becoming my favorite. As well as writing prompts. Creating a daily prompt would be amazing.

It’s crazy thinking 2018 is coming to an end. This year is and was very bumpy. Lost a lot of weight then gained most of it back. Lost it again then was disappointed by the doctor’s challenges. Created a great album. Deleted the album because of the beats. Quit writing for 2 months. Created a new project. Just bumpy like a teenage boy face.

Life is a roller coaster filled with nothing but twists, turns and ups and down. You ride it while wearing a blindfold. I honestly was on cloud nine two months ago. Now it feels like it will never get done. 2 years and counting I guess. When will I get my chance to Rise? Living is becoming the thing I despise.